chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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