it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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