You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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