bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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