my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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