Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
