Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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