So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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