I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
