fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
