i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
