Just mADE A PArabola og urine
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
