Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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