You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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