I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize