I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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