So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
