What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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