Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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