yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
