He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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