You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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