one two three fourrrrnication!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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