I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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