did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
