i barfeds in our rink
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I want to be your penis for a week.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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