I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
