That's when you crack a 10am beer
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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