I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it's like heaven, but drunker
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
