Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
