Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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