My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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