he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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