I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
