I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
