i was born a porn star she said
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize