Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
