sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
