In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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