You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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