god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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