Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
How's work?
Spinning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
