He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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