My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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