My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
