So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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