Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.