My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Panties = found
Randomize
