this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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