I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
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