I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
