I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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