Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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