Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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