I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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