if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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