i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
