do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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