Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
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