i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
