i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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