Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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